Hi Nappers,
Someone left a comment on our sleep regressions reel. It said we were raising "robot babies". The idea was that wanting a baby to sleep means you stop caring once the lights go off.
We replied: Responsive parenting and sleep training live happily together. Parents who ask for sleep help are not trying to switch off. They are exhausted and looking for a way to support their baby and themselves.
Then came the line that started this whole episode: parenting doesn't stop when the sun goes down.
We agree. It really doesn't. That is the exact reason we help families sleep.
When sleep falls apart, parenting gets harder around the clock. We talked about the mum who hallucinated a golden retriever in a stranger's arms. It was a bunch of flowers. We talked about the mum so depleted she carried two kids down to the ferry and realised she had left the baby on the lounge floor. That is what deep exhaustion does. It has nothing to do with how much these mums love their babies.
Sally still does fresh pillow for fresh dreams at 2am. Bec still gets up for a wet bed. Helping a baby learn to resettle has never meant ignoring them because the moon is out. We have never once told a parent they are not allowed in the room.
In this one we get into:
- the hallucinations, the anxiety and the real safety risk of broken nights
- how to tell a genuine overnight need from a wake you can gently resettle
- a family whose 8-month-old slept through within a week of small changes
- why there are no medals for exhaustion
- the privilege hiding inside a lot of anti-sleep-training advice
One line sums it up. We need rest so we can parent.
If you have ever wanted better nights and then felt guilty about what that says about you, we think this conversation will feel like a long exhale.
Listen/watch now →
With you in the trenches, Sally + Bec